Creating Smart and Capable Men

There’s a particular kind of guy who makes all the searching, all the endless online dates and late-night bitch-fests with girlfriends and self-improvement programs, feel worth it. And while he’s rare, he isn’t unusual.

He’s the kind of man who can play with all the complexities and levels of a woman with nuance and skill, whether he’s penetrating you with his cock and his insightfulness or giving you feather-soft strokes and exquisite attention. For him, whether it comes to sex or just life in general, none of it is about racing to the finish line, which is why it feels so good to be around him. He’s deeply present, dynamic, and grounded. His honesty and straightforwardness are irresistible, but he’s not a player because he doesn’t use his confidence to manipulate or control others. He’s powerful, but this is the kind of power that is always used to ignite other people, especially women he’s involved with.

If his profile sounds too good to be true, trust us-it isn’t. The kind of strong, present, capable man we want is well within arm’s reach. He isn’t someone we have to magically summon up from the detritus of our fantasies. Neither is he something we have to passively yearn for, like impatient princesses, tapping our toes and watching paint peel off the walls.

A man like this isn’t born-he is created. By women.

In order to create powerful, authentic, whole men who are capable of penetrating us deeply and whose desire is to connect and make us feel good, we must think outside our old paradigms. We must get beyond the standard operating technology most people are using when they approach finding their dream mate.

In other words, we must be the change we wish to see in our men. To be worthy of ignited men, we must be turned-on women. Here are just some of the ways we can kill two birds with one stone and say goodbye to emotionally fragile man-children and non-committal players for good.

Keep your turn-on up. Women tend to operate under the general unstated feeling that we lack a vital nutrient that could potentially get our blood flowing, our hearts pumping, and our bodies bursting with desire and a sense of newness. Unfortunately, the things we tend to discount (sex and orgasm), that get relegated to the back burner, are precisely what we need to stay turned on. When we are flowing with this kind of unadulterated sexual energy, it makes us magnetic to a similar level of man-it’s almost as if we are emitting a silent signal that only those of our ilk are capable of recognizing. This kind of magnetism is what makes a woman powerful, and it is precisely what is necessary when we want to generate men whose attention and capacity to hold us can match the potency of our turn-on.

As a woman, it is not that you need to get power. You already are power. And at the root of your power is your turn-on, also known as your desire, your hunger, your sexuality. That very thing you likely spend most of your days and nights attempting to mediate, moderate, and manage is not just your power, but power itself. So understand that when you are seeking fulfillment outside of yourself, you are denying that you hold the power in the relationship. Decide here and now that you will hold the power, and you will create the kind of man you desire: the kind who is unabashedly up for the challenge of providing a sufficient and pleasurable container for all that juice.

Instead of being “nice,” surrender to your own desire. When a woman is so attuned to her desire that she has absolutely no interest in compromising it or slackening her standards (for the sake of security or a fear of hurting his feelings, perhaps), this fierce honesty is a force so compelling it cannot be denied. Men know on some level that a passive-aggressive woman is hiding some primal truth that is raging to be released, and for some of them, this might feel like a relief-a necessary blockade against her emotional turbulence. Such women, who hide behind long-suffering faces and secret complaints, think they’re being nice-but in px7 primal flow reviews truth, nice women reinforce mediocrity and emotional stagnation in men. Our kindness is the most cruel thing we can offer to men, because without challenge, he becomes mediocre. And his mediocrity leads us to withhold and to withdraw, since we think he’s too weak or stupid to see us in our full power. In hiding behind the walls of our desire, we fail to entice a man into being the most superior version of himself, and we make ourselves miserable in the process. We generate men who are steadfast in their ignorance, heartbreaking in their impotence.

When you as a woman honor what you want, not because you are being “demanding” or “high-maintenance” but because the force of your desire is so strong that it cannot be denied or swept under the rug, you are surrendering to a force much larger than either of you. When that is the level at which you are playing, a man can relax and trust you, because he knows you’re not dangling some kind of invisible carrot and that he isn’t being manipulated. From this place, he can begin to listen to you. Because his deepest desire (even if it’s completely unconscious to him) is to make you happy, your willingness to get behind your pleasure will lift him to a place where obstacles, impediments, and huge boulders are just small things he isn’t sweating as he whizzes past them in his blaze of glory. Your desire enables him to get fully behind it, and to realize his own excellence in the process.

Make requests, and stick around to negotiate. Here’s the thing most women don’t completely understand: men never tire of succeeding, of being in service, of being well-used-so if you don’t want to be bored by having him talk about work and sports all the time, set the bar higher and offer him the task of “winning” with you. So many women, unfortunately, set men up for inevitable failure by dint of their anger, frustration, or silent chagrin-but if we only prioritized our pleasure and got him to prioritize it as well, we could ensure his success. When men consistently fail in making you happy, that’s when they typically throw in the towel and head for the bunny slope. The trick is to know what you want, and ask for it. Then stick around to negotiate the details. You don’t want to ease up on the challenge, but you do want to ease up on the inability to make clear requests that he can feasibly follow through with.

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